:(

SAD. One word that basically sums up what I'm feeling right now. I have been having doubts lately of my relationship with my boyfriend. I know inside of me that i love him i do. But am i happy? It makes me sad that im feeling this way when im not supposed to. How can you love someone so much and yet feel so incomplete. :( 

I dont want to let go but im barely hanging on. I feel like im on the edge and just waiting for someone or something that will make me fall apart. Namimiss ko ng kiligin. Namimiss ko ng maging masaya. Namimiss ko ung feeling ng contentment. Gusto ko mafeel maging special. Napinagkakabalahan ksi dahil lang gusto nya ako maging masaya. Hindi maging obligasyon lang.  At maging parte lang ng daily routine. Andami ko palang namimiss.:( I feel so detached lately. I wanna feel loved and i think he doesn't even feel it. I am trying so hard for the past few weeks to get over what i am feeling coz it might just be phase or a part of my mood swings. But i guess it wont go on for this long if it was just part of a mood swing. 

Ang hirap iexplain on writing kung ano ba nararamdaman ko. Basta alam ko masakit. ang bigat sa puso. Ang bigat sa dibdib.:(

I Failed.

I failed. I thought I can do it but i guess i failed. Im sorry I wasnt able to push through with my 365 day blog challenge. so sad.:(

-A

Despedida Night

Blog 25/365

My suck is that i wanted to go absent today but decided to go still coz sayang flying time! Thank God i was flying with my batch mate and she helped me to get through with the flight even though i was somehow feeling sick.

My sweet is that after flight i slept all afternoon then the kids are back for a despedida night. Spent quality time with the Kids specially cuteee patoottee Chael! watched Epic but wasnt able to understand it well so we agreed that we'll just watch it again. Kuya den treated us with 4 pizza boxes! so yum! then food was awesome. Also got to spend fun time with Cheiley! By the end of the night i spent some good inuman session with the boys. One of the boys peg. Made up my mind MA na bukas!!!

-A

World War Z

Blog 24/365

My suck is that today is my first day and i really feel ugleeeeh!!! Also didnt get to spend much time with the kids. nagmamadali ksi masyadoo.

My sweet is that we went SNR for some groceries. We saw babe and Tita there. Then we went to SM to watch World War Z! Babe watched with us! It was a good movie very intense though! I boought fit flops with mom! hahaha LIBREEEE. Before going home we bought Happy Meals and got 4 more toys so we have 5 already! 4 more to gooo!:) Upon going home we rested then went to ruins then KFC dinner take out at home!:)

-A

Wine Night

Blog 23/365

My suck is that the day was soooo tiring!

My sweet is that Fambam outing was really fun and sweet! Then the de Castro spent the night with us! the cuteepatootee kids are with us! Babe came over also. Before sleeping kuya Den came over and we spent the night drinking wine and kwentuhan with Arj, Kuya Den, Kuya cliff and eventually ate clich! The boys drank Black ALbe and Kuya Den got drunk hard!! hahaha

-A

Villa Escudero

Blog 22/365

My suck is that i was suppose to meet up with the barkada for a Tagaytay outing.  But Dad was home so i opted to just spend time with them and have some Family time. I was hoping for a Family time at Tagaytay or at the Mall so Babe can come with us but we weren't able to see each other because Dad changed our plans and decided to head to Villa Escudero.

My sweet is that i got to spend QUALITY TIME WITH THE FAMBAM! We checked in for an overnight stay at Villa Escudero. Fun Day spent with the fambam!

-A

Reflected In You

Blog 21/365

My suck is that i didnt get to buy food for baon at SNR ksi hindi natuloy ni mami. naexcite pa nmn ako mamili ng food!!

My sweet is that i got to fly with Miss Pinky again. Plain fun flight. Typical Foodtrip, kwentuhan! Also cant stop reading Reflected in You! Sooo Hot!:)

-A

8-inch Burger

Blog 20/365

My suck is that its a tamad flight! We were hoping that me and Irene would be stationed at the back but the most denior didn't want the Junior with her so he placed the junior at the back with me.

My sweet is that the Junior treated us an 8-inch Burger from Butuan! So yumminess! It can only be bought in the city and im hoping to buy one once i visit Butuan.

-A

The Host

Blog 19/365

My suck is that i missed thee boyfriend terribly! We haven't been spending time together lately. Time isn't permitting us to do so. Im busy with work and he's somehow busy with boxing.:( Im on HR duty today and planned on not answering of any of the calls whatever happens! They called me about 8 times today!! deymn! CBR!

My sweet is that my HR is well spent with thee boyfriend! He came over brought Atoy's for lunch then we watched The Host. It was a good movie all and all. He stayed until dinner and am happy that he really made time to spend with me.:)

-A

Guyabano Juice

Blog 18/365

My suck is that dada didn't arrive i was hoping to spend time with the fam bam with him so i can treat them for dinner. Sadly he didnt come home.:(

My sweet is that our flight was a so-so flight. Hell yeaah a 10am sign in for my first day! not so bad after all! Also i got to buy Guyabano Juice for mother! and she loved it!! I downloaded the Minion Game on my iphone and im sooo addicted to it!!

-A

Exercise?

Blog 17/365

My suck i wasn't able to do much today because i just sleeeept all day!! so i guess that's a sweet tooo!:) hahaha

My sweet is that i got to spend dinner with the fambam at Max. Though its just a minitrip at the mall. It's still nice to spend time with the fam. Also Babe started his Boxing exercise today. Oh nooo! I'm being left behind. I really should exercise naaaa!!!:(

-A

Gobats

Blog 16/365

My suck is that I didn't get to spend much time with Mom again coz she went on a Divisoria trip. Also, It's Fathers day and Dad's not here with us. I promised him that I shall treat him for Lunch/Dinner when  he comes home.

My sweet is that I got to finish Reckless Book it truly is looove. Me waaants moore!! hahaha The next question is WHAT BOOK NEXT? Also one of my sweets is that I went to the Nail Spa with Z! Then we ate dinner at Apache. We went to Tides after with Javs, Karen and Gene. Lot of stories and lot of laughs. After we went to Presidents ave to Gobats!! We also wanted to eat Ice Cream at Mcdo but It was already closed. Soooo sad!!

-A

Momma's Home

Blog 15/365

My suck is that for the second time around I almost got late. I didn't know that my car was almost out of gas. As in, literally OUT OF GAS. So i went on a quick gas refill at shell and then i got stuck in traffic at Evacom and Multi. But thank god i made it on time.

My sweet is that Mom's home from Mindoro na! Family looove.

-A

The Wand Talk

Blog 14/365

My suck is that when i slept through my alarm this morning. I was almost late for my duty. Thank God i was able to be in the office on time.

My sweet is that I got to spend time with my College Friends. But one of the other sweets i have today is that upon Babe fetching me he brought me Fruit Tea's from Infinitea then he also bought me cupcakes from Sophie's Mom. We celebrated Shei and Julie's Birthday! We ate at Yabu and we got a lot of laughs especially on THE WAND talk because of Julieeee! hahaha

-A

Sweeeeets

Blog 13/365

My suck is i have three sucks! The first one was the who really sucked my morning. I found out upon checking my Vacation Leave(VL) status that my VL was modified to 5 days when it was supposed to be 15 days. So i emailed our scheduler about it and thats when it turned out to be one of my sweets for today! My second suck is that upon checking flights for today for our bangkok flight for my VL we found out that all flights available for the dates we liked were too pricey.:( My third suck is that i wont be able to go to our mini barkada get together this saturday because my flight was changed and i have a later departure.:(

My sweets areeee first and foremost, Miss Elen our scheduler emailed me back as soon as my flight for today was done adn he showed me that my VL was already plotted and that i do have my 15 days VL! oh yeah!! My second sweet is that i slept all afternoon and that was awesome i think i slept for about 6 hours straight so much for me being sleep deprived lately. My third sweet is that babe and me started talking about a PLAN B if ever we dont get to go to bangkok together. We're thinking on going to Bohol or Coron. So we'll seeee! and Lastly, thee boyfriend bought a new wallet today to replace his old one which i gave to him from singapore for he said that its already worn out. Upon saying his goodnights he texted me saying thank you still for the wallet i gave he said he still love it but unfortunately it really has to retire already. hahaha Im touched having to know that he appreciates my gifts. Sweeetieeee!

-A

Bambooo

Blog 12/365

Happy Independence Day!

My suck today is totally lack of sleep! Super early morning flights + lack of sleep + you're the most senior = SUCK SUCK SUCK!

My sweet is that i finally got to meet Bamboo in person! Ive been asking thee boyfriend for a No Water No Moon Album of Bamboo. He told me that we should wait for a concert or a gig of Bamboo where we can attend. And soooooo, tadaaah! We went to the Independence Concert at Sm Southmall featuring Bamboo! Super galing nyaaa and hot nyaa kumanta and dance. Im soo happy I got to see him. We bought his CD Album and Bamboo signed it for us! plus we got to take a picture of him. His not that photogenic and he basically looks like an addict but i looove him nevertheless! He's sooo good!  Anyways I love thee boyfriend more. Im just so amazed that he supports me in this. Even though he knows i fancy some other guy his at my back and he supports me all the way. I may fancy other guys but those are just dreams and i think he knows that he is my reality.:) love love!!

-A

Bamboo and Me

Him and Bamboo

Me and Lovey Doveeey

Bamboooooo

Homegirl

Blog 11/365

My suck today is that ive been sulking all day. Well i guess its a good thing so that i can rest.

My sweet is that ive been really hook on my book Effortless. I'm already on the second book and i love it.  And also ive been homegirl all day today! :)

-A

Dinner Date

Blog 10/365

My suck today is i bought a ring from ruins and its really nice but it doesnt fit. It fits but its a bit loose. I bought the ring so that during my flight i can wear a ring to replace the ring Babe gave me. I so love his ring but I dont want to wear it during flights coz im scared that the stones might fall out during the service. So i guess its better safe than never!!

My sweet is that I got to spend my off day again with Babe. We went to sm south. First we went to Dermstrata for our facial with diamond peel, then went on our chores to buy stuffs, toby's to play some crane games but sadly we didnt get anything. We also went grocery shopping then went to visit Jed's Lola at the hospital. Lastly we went to Ruins and for our dinner date, we decided to eat fine dining style  at 7-11! haha For our drinks, Infiniteeaaa then for our main course we had hotdog sandwich. It may be a simple dinner but the most important thing is that we were together.

-A

Waking Up

Blog 9/365

My suck today is that i slept all day today because of our trip. It truly was  a lazy day.

My sweet is that I woke up beside him. It may sound cheesy but its every girls dream to wake up in the arms of the one he loves. And also plus plus is that we had mcdo pancakes for breakfast! yumyum!!!

-A

61st

Blog 8/365

My suck today is that he forgot about our 61st Monthsary. I think for guys this simple things is not a big deal but for girls it sometimes is. I know everyday can be special but for some girls like me, having something extra special on that special day will really mean a lot. Coz its nice to know that that day is appreciated as it is remembered to be important.:(

My sweet is that even though he forgot i got to spend time with him. We went on an overnight trip at Los Banos with his family as a celebration of his cousins birthday. It may not be a date date but i really had fun spending time with his family.

-A