as simple as it looks..:)

so right there and then..when i was just losing hope that he wouldn't be replying na.. he texted..

misTer weiRd0..u(-o3.25.o9- 11:16pm): Baby gudnyt love you.

it maybe as simple as it looks.. but it means a lot to me.. maybe at the end of the day he really does care! whew! boys!! ang weird nyo tlgaaaaaaaaaaaa!! i know he does namn ea.. i just wanted to hear/see it again from him..:) so it just made my night..:) that maybe just maybe.. d nya rin ako matiis!:D haha.. i replied. after like 1-3 minutes..:D

me:goodnyt diddy., i love you too po.. and i miss you..:c

haha! syempre paawa effect:D.. i just really miss him period. ang cheezy.. sorry:D

-A

i just miss having to know that he cares..:( having to feel that he cares..:(

I cried. i miss him. and i think im over reacting. well, my boyfriend is leaving on the 29th.. his going to australia for about two weeks. he said he'll be back april 10.. so, as i have said in my last last blog.. i said, i wanted to spend much time with him as much as possible.. i really do..:(

today, i got kinda pissed off with him.. well, we were not txting all day.. im actually used to it.. that we dont even text each other kht goodmornings and all.. and i miss those days.. that we'd text non stop actually..:( well, for the record. i was kinda expecting he'd come today.. siguro nakadadag pa un sa kabadtripan ko..:( i texted him when i got home. my first text to him today.. i said that im home na.. he didn't reply.. so okay. but then around 7-7:30..

i texted him
"diddy?"..
he replied
"yes baby?u(smiley)"
then i said..
"wala laaaaaaaaaaaaangg... di ka lang naman nagpaparamdaaaaaaaaaaaaamm..:( buong araaaaaaaaaaw...:("
tapos he replied..
"Anu aq ghost para paramdam? u(smiley) hahaha"..
parang ako! wat the!! shet! dito lalo ako nabadtrip! so i replied with..
"ay nakoooh!!:c"..
tapos sbi niya..
"haha. u(smiley) wag ka na sad . u(smiley) nuod ka na lan hbo. u(smiley)"
dahil naiinis ako.. i replied with..
"ayaw. asa rum aq.. im watching chuck.."
hai.. tapos ayan! he replied with..
"baby kung bdtrip k wag k muna mag txt bka mahawa lang aq."..
so xempre.. super i want to talk to him.. actually i wanted to see him.. so at least makausap ko man lang xa thru text kung di kme magkikita dba. . tapos d pa nga kme magkatxt buong araw ea.. so.. i replied with..
"ea., im not.. sori na..:c kaw kxe ea..:c sori..:c"

and there.. he didn't reply.. hai.. i got sad.. really really sad.. tapos naiyak ako.. i cried.. for about a minute ata..:( i supeeeeeeeeeeeer miss him..:( suppeeeeeeer..:( like i said to joy.. (a new found friend.. hi joy!) maybe the thought of him leaving and the thought of having to miss him when his gone made me miss him even more..:( geeets?.. hai.. hangang ngaun di pa rin kme naguusap..:(

I miss him..:( i really do..:( his leaving on sunday na..:( i just really really want to spend time with him..:( or just maybe feel that his there pa.. dhil alam kong andyan pa nmn tlga xa.. i cant explain.. maybe i just want to feel his presence lang ulit in my life..:( am i asking for too much?.. im used to us not texting each other often.. and okay lang nmn ea.. it just shows how we trust each other that much.. that we'd knw we care even though we dont text..:( but you know what.. after a while.. i miss having to know he cares about whats happening to me.. or what am i doing.. i miss the old times.. iba pa rin kxe when he lets me know he does even though i dont tell him too..

i just miss having to know that he cares..:( just having to feel that he cares..:(

-A

First love..:|

If you should find you miss the sweet and tender love we used to share
Just go back to the places where we used to go, and I'll be there
Well, how can I forget you, girl?
When there is always something there to remind me
Always something there to remind me

I was born to love her, and I will never be free
You'll always be a part of me

'Cause there is always something there to remind me
Always something there to remind me
There's always something there to remind me
Always something there to remind me
Always something there to remind me..

I remember my first love.. and truly it was some kind of experience! haha.. truly, first love is one of the most unforgetable memory ull get and all. welll, i think my brother just found his first love.. and got his first sad break up..:( i mean.. ung serious ha..:|

We were gonna eat dinner. I was eating na and i called him.. and he was staring at the monitor and waiting for a reply from ann and gabby. ahmm.. gabby is his EX-gf..:D tapos, ang alam ko.. he was desperately asking ann for the reason why gabby broke up with him.. gabby's main reason was that he needs to focus on his studies right now daaaw. and my brother wont believe her..:| watta excuse! haha..

Well, they broke up Mar. 21, exactly on their 4th monthsary!! lately, his been really sad and all.. super i can really feel his sadness.. He smiles once in a while over some funny joke or when i make him kulet.. but sooner or later.. he wears his sad face again.. and its actually the first time that i saw him this sad.. really really sad..:(

so un nga.. so i was looking at him staring at his monitor.. tapos background music namn january rain.. muntikan na ako maiyak..:( kxe super sad niya tlga..:( his really in pain.. i think he was caught off guard with the break up. he didn't expect it to happen thats why it really affected him.. as i remember he was planning to go to gabby's house that day pa.. kaso un nga..:( oh well,..:(

Well, first of all.. i dont like the girl tlga!! i saw her once.. when he came here sa bahy nmn with some of arj's friends.. i dont like her because of the stories arj and his friends tells me! haha.. judgemental ba! :D oh well. eh kxe nmn dba.. from their stories.. arj has been doing all the work and stuff.. and gabby never tries to show my brother his love in person.. pruo text and ym lang ata si gabby. coz she has tendencies that in school super di daw niya pinapansin si arj! abah! nagmamaganda!! i only stood by my brother because that's where his happiness is.. pero my point is, i really dot like her! haha.. and besides they always fight! evryday ata! hmm.. reminds me of something! bwahaha.. as in everyday sila nagaaway over some simple things and all!!

I want tell my brother that its not worth it..

sya na nga may sbi.. nakatagal sila ng 4 months! 4 months ng pagtyatyaga!

haha... he knows..but he loves gabby so much that he'll do anything for her.. yuuta said, that he'd even cut varsity practices for gabby.. and i know how much his varsity means to him.. so he must really. really really love her for him to cut his varsity practices.. Jed, his friend, always pm's me in ym.. that arj is sad and all.. kanin a they were both here.. and i hugged my brother thight and made him lambing..kxe nga he was really sad..:( tapos knina.. inayos niya multiply niya.. ito ung nakalagay..

my love for you is like a star
cause it's always there
never less, never more
bright as it is.

hai.. ang sad tlga.. super sad..:(

Truly, first love is one of the most painful experience one can ever go thru.. for the reason that its the first.. and you never knew that, it would be that painful..well, with experience,, we learn from our mistakes.. and that makes us stronger..

For my brother, he's still young and he'll go through a lot of things pa.. and besides

why settle for less when you know you can have more than that..:)

i know there's someone out there for him that will truly make him happy.. ung totoong happy.. ung hindi one way relationship...:) i love my brother so much.. and right now i can really feel that he is in pain.. im hoping he gets through this.. i know he will..:) lovelove..:) right now, magkasama kme sa room.. dito ko siya pinatulog sa room ko kxe i dont want him to feel his loneliness.. mamaya mas malungkot un sa room niya kxe his all alone.. his all alone.. his all alone..:D haha.. hughug!!: lovelove:)

-A