the first blog.

Blogging as we all know is one way of expressing our feelings and thoughts, those inner ones. Ones that we cannot say out loud because we are afraid of hurting some peoples' feelings. But it sucks big time not to release those feelings. It burns inside. It feels really really bad. You wanna shout, run, and cry out loud just to be able to let it all out..

So why blog here, when there's friendster, multiply etc. Why here?.. well, this is where i know he won't be able to find and read my blogs most especially my thougths. this one specific person that my blogs would most often be about for the past few months or years i think?.. haha assuming. Everyone's name would be in codes! so go figure it out!;)

So, here's the very first blog that would be all about him and surely me..

for some background:
i'll call my self A..;)_
19y.o. from the south..
typical girl next door(must i say) haha..
My boyfriend.. courted me for almost 7 months.
may 8. that's our date;)
so here goes,,

We were sorta kinda high school sweethearts. had a past thing.. i dumped him when he courted me in highschool(rude of me!).. so there.. he came back to my life last year.. 2007, which i can say one of the best days of my life..

i just came out of a bad relationship last april 2007, one that really sucked me off my life big time. and when he came into my life, he made me feel that i can be loved just the way i am,, no worries, no doubts,, Oct. 6, 7, & 8.. those were our first few days together that we were so happy.. hindi pa kme nun ha.. hehe.. so ayun.. Our courting days(must i say..) made me really feel happy and felt the wonder of being loved and by loving him in my ways. he was really somethng huh! haha..

so May 8.. was the day me and him became US. there.. we sere doing fine.. we see each other constantly, spend time together. and have loads of happy time.. having to spend time with him always feel im in FOREVER.. my nightmares came when my parents started to renovate our house. ..

starting august we were not able to see each other that often. he wont come to our house because we have no sala.. so that leaves to the option in spending our time in our rooms. but he wont agree to that, becasue my parents are here. Another problem is that, i can't ask permission from my parents that i would be going out with him.. because it will all just lead to:

"bkt lalabas pa kayo? pwede nmn dito sa bahy.."

so.. ayoko nmn na sumama tingin nila sknya dba.. hai..so ayun.. nagkikita kme pero minsan for 5 minutes lang kxe super takas lang or wat,, it was really hard kxe for me,, i really wanna spend more time with him.. and miss spending time with him... sobraa..:c tapos ang point ko pa.. if he really wants to see me.. or be withme.. gagawa nmn xa ng paraan dba.=c but that's only if he wants too..=c

so aun.. dame pa nangyari eversince..,, we fought over him, spending more time with his friends over me,, and a lot more.. and also.. just before i went home to our province he just came from malaysia nga pla.. he was gone for 6 days..
so aun, ill start the recent happenings in our life..

Yesterday, i was on my way home from our province to manila.. SO we wer texting and all.. then i was realy happy when he insisted that we watch a movie wen i get home.. so meaning today,.. i was really happy.. finally he thought of having to spend time with me! YES! so i told him,, ill ask permission first from my mom.. so i was really really really excited and all.. but, last nyt, i wasn't able to ask permission coz my mom had a realy hot head bcoz of our helpers. so this morning i asked permission from my mom(which by the way i think is the really hard to do).. and she said yes! so i was really happy and excited fro our upcoming date! but then, he wasn't replying.. i txtd and txtd him.. but he ddn't reply.. around lunch time.. he txted saying he doesn't have load.. so that's why!? so me, being the understanding girlfirend.. said okey.. and pretended that nothing happend.. so there.. i asked if "tuloi kme".. tapos ang rep niya.. "what time labs mo tom? hehe".. "gusto mo puntahan nlng kita sa skul mo tom"..parang ako!! WTH?! nagpaalam pa ako for todai! tapos ganun! so ayun.. being the understanding gf ulet! cge okei lang.. hai.. so aun.. hoping na bukas lng kme magkikitaa...

kanina.. sa ym.. i asked him if he would be goint to taft tom.. as what he said kanina.. sby "pupunta ako skul tom ea,. kuha ng card and clearance".. parang ako.. WTH?! ulet! hai... and now i can really say IM TIRED OF HOPING IN SEEING HIM AGAIN.. because nothing happens.. i hope, feel happy and excited and where does that leads me.. NOWHERE...:c and that sucks big time.. must i say.:c

so there goes.. that's all for todai..
i posted it here kxe.. i dont want him to read it.. there's this instance kxe na nagblog ako and nabasa nya.. and he took it the wrong way.. i just wanted to let it all out.. and i don't mean to offend him or hurt him by chance.. so ayan..

-A