Are you still happy?

I find myself thinking about stuff today, especially about the question "ARE YOU STILL HAPPY?".. and i wonder.. am i?.. is this wat i want?.. is this were i want to be?.. are you TRULY happy with where you are right now?..

my answer is.. i dont know..:(

Yes, we just went out last sunday. We had so much fun.. laughing around, being silly, cuddling, being together was something i thought could make everything back to normal again. but i guess i was wrong..Yes, i admit i am afraid of losing him. of losing the very happpiness i found almost 2 years ago. but when i look back and compare it to now. everythings different.

October 6, 2007.. Our first date together, eversince that day i have been living a happy soul. up until now.:( looking back. i was happy. contented. and most importantly i was ASSURED of his love. but now, im quite not sure.

Lately, his been busy with school. late ioght works that i opted not to disturb him. so okay, yesterday, he said pa na.. his gonna go na daw kxe he has to finish his work and mauna na daw ako magsleep. before i went to bed.. i txted him.. no replies.. maybe he is busy.. but today, itexted him in the morning. when i got home. then around 630. nothing. then he went online.. my stat was "not feeling wel.." okay 5-10 minutes has passed he hasn't pmed me yet.. so i did.. here's how the conversation went.. by the way his stat knina was.. "confused and i dont know why.@.@"..

*ah-ah*: ur not texting..:(
weirdopot: busy ako kanina e
*ah-ah*: whole day..?:(
weirdopot: yeah
*ah-ah*: wats with the stat?
*ah-ah*: :(
weirdopot: im confused e
*ah-ah*: with what?..
weirdopot: bat kelangan lahat pansinin
*ah-ah*: im just asking,, ur my boyfriend i care..:(
weirdopot: okay
*ah-ah*: can i ask you something?..
weirdopot: nu un
*ah-ah*: are WE okay?..
weirdopot: go straight to the point wag mo ko pahulain .
weirdopot: nakaka stress araw ko ngayon
*ah-ah*: un nga.. are WE okay? or there's something wrong with us?.. un lang..
weirdopot: i think so .
weirdopot: i dont know please wag ngayon
weirdopot: badtrip na nga ako dadagdag ka pa
*ah-ah*: okay.. ill stop na..
*ah-ah*: im sorry. just pm me wen ur okay na..

and then nothing.:| wat i think?.. boyfriends and girlfriends are suppose to be there for each other.. no matter what.. in this case, its like he doesnt need me. i sooooooooooooooooo want to be a part of his life.. i do.. i dnt know wat i have done wrong. but somewhere along the way, he took the wrong turn and i think he can't find the right track back.:( his different.:| he is.:|

i want my old boyfriend back..:( i do.:( i want him to need me back.:( dats all i neeed.:(

I suddenly remmebered wat i told yana.. "it doesnt matter how long the relationship was.. but its how they lived in the relationship!!" true..:| i find myself guilty. i so wanted this relationship to stay for long.. but i guess that doesn't matter anymore, i was happy with him for 1 year and 2 months and even more..

I dont know wat i want now..:( i dont know wat happened along the way..:( i dont know..:( im pretty lost.:(

-A