"I'm tired of living in the past because I know its impossible to rewind and go back in time."
Hello Bloggers!:) haha.. This line gave me the inspiration to blog again..:) so here goes..
Lately, iv'e been really thinking of what i want. For all those who doesn't know. He is seriuosly trying and wants to come back wtih me. And honestly im glad he did come back, but the other side of me doesnt know what to feel. I want him back, i do.. i really really do.. and i wont deny the fact that im still in love with him.. He says he wants me back and he said he still loves me.. but the thing is.. i feel that there's still something missing.
Here's where the quote comes in.. Maybe,, just maybe.. im still living in the past..:,( Im still expecting he'll be the same person or maybe he can still be that same person i fell in love with almost 2 years ago.. I miss being happy..:( especially with him..:( he has done so much for me.. or well.. he used to..:(
siguro, i miss the efforts he did for me.. the little things he do just to show me he cares and that he still loves me.. and what i miss the most is the part where i know what's happening in his life.. and him wanting to know what happens in mine. in short.. i miss being a part of his everyday life... even though its just the same every day..:(
Yes, we go out sometimes.. he texts me sometimes too.. and i feel very happy when we're together.. or when he texts me.. but then when he's not.. i feel sad..:( i dont know why.. but i just do.. and i dont like this feeling.. i can't be with him when im like this.. i want to be happy regardless if we are together or not.. here comes the security part.. i lost mine when he left me.. just like what i told him.. my telenovela line...
A lot of people doesnt want him for me na.. they say, he broke my heart na and he has no excuse to hurt me like that.. But i guess dito pumapasok ung "katangahan".. haha!! No one's perfect.. He got confused.. i think nag sawa siya.. and maybe he really didnt know what to do.. thats why he choose to think about it much harder. and that's why he didnt ignore it even though he loved me that much.. In my part..
So the only thing left for me to do is.. tell him what i feel..:( its gonna be hard.. but he needs to know.. i dont know what will happen.. if he's gonna prove to me that we can be those two persons again.. or he'll drop us because xa na un ngaun ea.. i miss the sweet part of him..:( he is sometimes.. and im really shocked how much the way he calls me "baby" makes me smile..:( i miss that feeling.. and i only feel it when he calls me that..:( i need to be assured.. i want to feel the security of his love.. i need to feel it..:(
-A
Lately, iv'e been really thinking of what i want. For all those who doesn't know. He is seriuosly trying and wants to come back wtih me. And honestly im glad he did come back, but the other side of me doesnt know what to feel. I want him back, i do.. i really really do.. and i wont deny the fact that im still in love with him.. He says he wants me back and he said he still loves me.. but the thing is.. i feel that there's still something missing.
Here's where the quote comes in.. Maybe,, just maybe.. im still living in the past..:,( Im still expecting he'll be the same person or maybe he can still be that same person i fell in love with almost 2 years ago.. I miss being happy..:( especially with him..:( he has done so much for me.. or well.. he used to..:(
siguro, i miss the efforts he did for me.. the little things he do just to show me he cares and that he still loves me.. and what i miss the most is the part where i know what's happening in his life.. and him wanting to know what happens in mine. in short.. i miss being a part of his everyday life... even though its just the same every day..:(
Yes, we go out sometimes.. he texts me sometimes too.. and i feel very happy when we're together.. or when he texts me.. but then when he's not.. i feel sad..:( i dont know why.. but i just do.. and i dont like this feeling.. i can't be with him when im like this.. i want to be happy regardless if we are together or not.. here comes the security part.. i lost mine when he left me.. just like what i told him.. my telenovela line...
"YOU LEFT ME WHEN I WAS LOVING YOU THE MOST"now im scared to trust him with my heart.. im scared that one day he'll leave me again.. i know it might not happen again.. but what if it does..:( its scaring the hell out of me..:( (crying right now) i want to be with him badly.. but as much as i want him back.. i want to know and feel how much he wants me back.. and i guess for now, he's too assured that i still love him dat much,, but well i do,, i really really do.. but i need to see, feel and know that he wants me back just the same..
A lot of people doesnt want him for me na.. they say, he broke my heart na and he has no excuse to hurt me like that.. But i guess dito pumapasok ung "katangahan".. haha!! No one's perfect.. He got confused.. i think nag sawa siya.. and maybe he really didnt know what to do.. thats why he choose to think about it much harder. and that's why he didnt ignore it even though he loved me that much.. In my part..
how could you just throw away something that made you uber duper super mega happy. i am not exagerating. because he really did..:,( so partly, i dont want to give up on him.. because we used to be happy and im hoping we can be again..:( and i know we can be again only if he wants it that much..:|
So the only thing left for me to do is.. tell him what i feel..:( its gonna be hard.. but he needs to know.. i dont know what will happen.. if he's gonna prove to me that we can be those two persons again.. or he'll drop us because xa na un ngaun ea.. i miss the sweet part of him..:( he is sometimes.. and im really shocked how much the way he calls me "baby" makes me smile..:( i miss that feeling.. and i only feel it when he calls me that..:( i need to be assured.. i want to feel the security of his love.. i need to feel it..:(
"Make me remember.. Because im starting to forget how it feels to be happy with you. again.:(" (Apostol, 2009)
"We CAN be MORE than what we are right now and how we used to be.."
-A
1 comments:
awwww.. i know how you feel. you're scared right now.. and nobody can blame you for that. coz we don't know what will happen the second time around. it's like, kung nagawa niya nung una, kaya niya rin magawa ulit un. pero kung may tiwala ka sa kanya, you'll go for it. (: but as of now, take your time. think about it. pag isipan mo kung kaya mo ulit sugal ung puso mo.. kung kaya mo ulit masaktan. aherm. andrama na. tama na. hahahahahaha!
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