Attention

"Very little is needed to make a happy life;

it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking"

~ Marcus Aurelius

His home. After almost three weeks of being apart, we've finally seen each other again. He arrived yesterday at exactly 5:38am(as he said). After school, i went home early so that we could be able to spend some time together. And he didn't fail me with this, after he woke up from resting, he came over to my house.

We watched tv, made our kulitans, cuddling, eating our favorite date food = pizza and we fell asleep because he wasn't really feeling well. I guess it was from his trip. I missed him so much that just having him beside me was more than enough. I had fun being him. I always do! I just love spending my time, wasting time with him.

That was yesterday, and today i already miss him. It's just not the same anymore. I don't know why but when we're apart, i have a tendency to go all sad. I feel alone, feel sad, feel detached, and just i feel like i'm drifting away. There are times that he's overly sweet, caring and expressive of his love, but it never fails, that there will come a time that he makes me feel that he's starting to care less and less. Like today, I texted him good morning, he didn't reply. I just thought that maybe maybe his busy with thesis. But then i texted him again, and i told him that he wasn't texting, He replied, he said that he had no load earlier today that's why he wasn't able to reply. So i said okay, just text me when you have load na. And his reply was, he has already load na daw, nagpaload daw kasi siya. Parang ako, so kung hindi pa kita tnxt ndi ko malalaman na may load na siya. And then, i found out that he was at his friends house, making tambay. So okay, i told him to text me when his home already.

Later on, I saw him online on YM, i pm-ed him, and i asked him where he is na. And he told me his home already, uhmm.. what happened to "text me when your home na.|" soo okaaaay!! i pm-ed him once again, that i'll go out for a while, and he said okay. When i got back, he's not online anymore, and he didn't even leave me with a single message telling me what now.

Its hard, falling between the lines of understanding and demanding. It's hard, because i'm not the type of person who demands, even though i want things the other way around. And i'm also not the type of person who's pushy, that ill push myself to him. It's hard BECAUSE I WANT HIS ATTENTION so much!! I WANT IT TOO BAD..:( Even just a little of it, with love and care.

It's just a phase, it's just a phase, that's what i put in my mind. Hoping that everything will be alright. I know it will. I hope it will.:(

-A