I was actually looking out for a breakup.. yes, i was expecting that, i would not deny.. i felt that everythings hopeless for he was not doing anything. i felt that he didn't want it"our relationship" anymore.. honestly, a part of me just wants the hurting to stop. and another part of me doesn't want it to end. One thing, it was not a worthless 1year and 2 months to be thrown away because of too much pain from fighting.. i felt na ang babaw ng reason for a breakup..:( I also thought of breaking it up a lot of times.. because for me,, i did everything to make things work.. and i dont want to get dumped coz i know that's going to be unfair for me.. but i also dont want to be the 1st one who would give up on our relationship..:( soo.. i waited.. but last July 23, around 10pm.. he texted!
And right there and then.. i told him wat i felt..
" hindi ko pa rin alam kung anong gusto ko.. bsta ang alam ko a part of me still wants this to work.. but do you still want to?".. that's what i texted him.. i was ready then of wat he was about to say..and he replied.
"yeah. gusto ko rin"and i cried.. that's what ive been waiting for.. all i needed to know was if he wanted it to work.. and so he did.. and right there and then we were okay na..:) (not fully okay.. but somewhat, of course, d nmn un ganun kadali)
Yesternyt, July 25, around midnyt.. i smiled.. for the first time in 2-3 weeks.. he said goodnight and i love you..:) i love you.. not i love you too.. but i love you..:) and somehow i smiled all throughout the night.:)
Today, July 26, we went out! and yes, we made it through the day wthout fighting!! woohoo!!:) haha!! so here goes..:)
i told him to comeover coz my mom has been looking for him! bkt d na daw pumupunt aung boyfriend ko! haha.. so he came.. commute.. kxe wala ung car niya!:) nagpakita kay mami and tito.. then we left.. we went straight to his house kxe he wanted to change his shirt kxe nadumihan.. SUPER ULAN kxe knina.. so there.. we stayed for a couple of hours sa bhy nila kxe super lakas ng ulan! and there.. i found out wat i missed the most.. cuddling in front of the tv.. where nothing else matters but us.. and super kulitan lang..:) i super missed that!! after a while we decided to conquer the rain! haha!! we walked for a while.. tig isa kme ng payong pero he was so kulit like hinihila niya payong ko at bsta he finds way para mabasa ako!! so there.. we went back to sm.. to watch a movie! funny thing was.. we watched "Journey to the Center of The Earth.." kxe un lang ung super okay na time na d na kme malalate.. and guess wat! the movie was 15pesos per tao lang! haha. and he can't get over it!! haha!! tawa ako ng tawa kxe he cant get over it!!:) haha
After the movie, we went to DQ kxe andun si mitchy and mimi.. tapos we went to goldilocks to buy mom pasalubong!! tapos dun super harutan kme! harutan na hindi pda kundi parang dalwang batang nagkukulitan!! haha para kmeng ewan! haha..
and yes, i did love every minute, every second we were together.. kht umuulan.. i was so so so happy..:)
When i went home,, he texted,, then konting chat,, then naglogout xa without paalam..:( i texted him no reps.. but weyt,, yes, i understand. his doing a paper due tomorow.. and gaya ng sbi niya knina sken.. its a loooooooooooooooooooooooooong paper..:) haha.. wawa nmn boyfriend ko..:( and why am i paranoiiiid??!!!
Im scared..:( yes, i admit im scared.. for some time now, this is a break from all the fighting, misunderstandings and from missing each other. we are so back in the track again.. and i dont want to make a turn.. i dont want to lose it..:( im afraid that it will go back to the way it used to be..:( the fighting and all..:| i want to contain this feeling of happiness because im happy here.. i am super happy.. and i dont want to lose it.:(
-A
2 comments:
err. don't overthink. don't think about the future na lang muna. you dont have to worry naman eh. kasi if magwoworry ka now, paano mo pa maeenjoy ung moment niyo now? :| basta. don't think na babalik kayo sa dati(ung mga away niyo). kalimutan mo na muna yun. kasi pagniwoworry mo un, mapapansin un ng Empol(FC. hahaha) and baka mag-away kayo dahil nun. ok? be happy. <3333 love Abby. :)
thanks abboi!:) yeah.. i just really do worry a lot these days..:| cant help it.. but ill try my best not to worry dat much anymore..:) will do!!:) thanks abboi!! haha:) lovelove!:)
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