old pictures

.... i'm finding comfort in our old pictures..:(

... we used to be this happy..:(

-A

What's happening to us?..

With every fight.. with every misunderstanding..

.... you're starting to lose me..:(

i know in a relationship, having a fight is normal.. but this time.. why does it feel that its not..? we're starting to fight about the simplest things in our relationship. i'm feeling that his patience with me is getting shorter as the days go by. He gets irritated more often about things i do. and the moment he confronts me about. He's mad already, as in super mad. What happened to our everyday love happy endings..? i don't feel that way anymore. i'm losing it again.. after our fight, i rushed into my cr and cried.. thinking if it's still really worth it.. is it?.. i'm feeling detached of what we had and what we have right now.. i know i love him i do.. but my feelings are starting to get crushed day by day when we fight..:( why is that?.. sometimes i think that maybe he's starting to care less about what i feel, but i also know that he can't be that heartless.. He has a heart,, a good one.. i saw it before and i fell in love with it.. sometimes it comes to me that maybe he's just really somewhat immature that he can't see the sense behind my part.. i'm really lost..

My friend told me.. "kung di mo na tlga kaya.. wag mo na ipilit.. Magiging okay kyo..tapos after some time.. ganun nnmn.. ndi ka pa ba napapagd?."

i answered.. "i dont know..:( pagod na.. pero okay nanmn kme ulet ea.. ill fight for it.. habang kaya ko pa.. i still think its worth it pa naman ea.. ill fight for it habang alam kong its still worth it.."

Is it still worth it?.. to be just okay with everything?.. maybe this is just a test.. superfriend.. make me strong..:(

errrr.. WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING TO US?..:(

-A

Scared

Sometimes i find myself strong. I see myself strong enough to let go.. Strong enough to be alone.. Far better off single.. but then it came to me.. maybe im not..:( and now im finding myself scared..:( i think the reason why i find the courage to be strong enough to let go is that.. i dont want to be left anymore..:( its like

"uunahan ko na xa, bago niya ako iwan.."..

maybe its wrong, but when i think of the moment he'll tell me that once again, HE's LOST AGAIN, CONFUSED.. it will really break my heart into pieces..:( because the moment i know he decides to give up on us it will hurt my heart like hell.. so im giving up on us first before he does..:(

As of right now, im waiting for him to tell me he wants to stay with me.. im not asking him to totally change himself.. i myself is not perfect.. but i try my best to walk my side of the bridge for him..

and maybe that's the only thing i need to know right now.. that he'll try to for me..:(

and now, im scared that he'll give up just because he's tired of trying..:( i dont know how i can take that.:( knowing he gave up because he got tired of trying will hurt the hell out of me.. and its scaring the hell out of me right now..:(

-A